Muse-ical Chairs

[Omnitheus Oneironaut]

I'm a performer - A singer/songwriter actually, so it's no real wonder that I've always seen Life as One big muse-ical. And, at the end of each different song, I've found myself always sitting in a different chair: The Extra's Chair; the Supporting Actor's Chair; and the Star's Chair. Well another song has finished and within the wisdom of silence, I have found myself sitting in yet another chair, but I'll get to that later.

Before my first 'Lucidity Flash', I felt like an insignificant brushstroke in someone else's painting, the illusion of separation was that strong - I felt like an extra. Then I tried looking for love OUTSIDE of myself, ending relationship after relationship because I've always had it drummed into me (read : programmed) that I couldn't be whole or complete unless I was with somebody. I just couldn't buy into this idea. I hated feeling like a supporting actor. So then, somewhere along the line here, my Ego reared its massive head and propelled me into a chaotic world of clubs, drugs and 5-minute friends - Yes, I was a star without a hit song. It was 1998, and this is where my story begins.

I couldn't leave the house without popping something. I couldn't walk past a mirror without stopping and admiring myself ('you probably think this song is about you...'). I ached to be famous but wasn't doing anything about it. I put myself into many dangerous situations by deceiving people with my androgynous looks - It was my trick on humanity but only I was getting the joke. I was sucked into the illusions of glamour, superficiality and artificial attention. Maya had me firmly (asleep) in her hands. I couldn't stop 'networking'. I couldn't stop getting noticed. I couldn't stop dancing. I couldn't stop slowly killing myself. I had come to the edge.

Life was becoming a haze. The warnings from my friends fell on deaf ears. There were too many strangers in my life, and in my bed. The ridiculous reality in my head spilled out into the world I lived in and I was going crazy, getting paranoid and staying suspicious. I was on my own, desperate and in my own way - crying out for something. And then 'HE' appeared.

He came in the guise of an ordinary-looking customer sitting at an outside table at my day job at the time - a cafe here in Melbourne, Australia. He greeted me by name (& no, I wasn't wearing a name badge), asked how I was and then told me that 'The Guardian Angels Federation' was very concerned about me because I had been 'partying' too much recently. This is one of those significant moments in your life where you don't understand the importance or greatness of it at the time, but look back and real-eyes how life-changing and ONEdrous it truly was.

I remember looking at him suspiciously (our eyes locked for what seemed like an Eternity) and walking back inside. Something had just happened - I knew this at a cellular or deeper level but was too dumbfounded and confused to consciously register it. A minute later, I came back out looking for him. He was gone. I had never seen him before, nor since that day.

That was all I needed. That was the little sign I was searching for to restore my faith and rekindle my spark. That was my spiritual 'slap-in-the-face' - the first magnificent rays of Light dawning over a new horizon. I wish I had the space to share with you all the details of my 'Re-Membering' and 'Awake-ning', because every 'little' experience was just as profoundly gorgeous as the 'big' ones. It was here that I got on my knees and prayed genuinely for the first time in my whole life. I humbled myself and asked for help. I cried, longing to be held - If I could have only seen the thousand, happy angels racing to my side that day.

Of course I 'felt' it and that's what I went with - that 'feeling', my intuition, my faith. It didn't happen in an instant. Over the next few months, the most amazing synchronicities occurred to lead me in particular directions where the most loving teachers popped up and the most beautiful books fell into my lap. Slowly but surely, the veils of illusion began lifting from my life. My dreams were re-'veil'-ing my progress and my Guides began introducing themselves to me one by one. I began meditating and believing in & piercing the 'unseen'. I knew all my positive past-life, parallel & future work was resurfacing to aid me now. I got rid of my television and phone. In effect, I unplugged myself from the 'matrix'. I stopped myself from going out. I tore myself away from all the negative and unhealthy reflections (people) and ways that I had been so used to. Everyone thought I had gone mad, lost my mind, when really I had found my sanity. I had come to the edge again - but this time I was enjoying the view.

With my own will power, and by POSITIVELY using my free will, I stopped smoking, drugs and promiscuous sex - everything in my life that was wasting my valuable time. It certainly wasn't always easy but I never felt alone. For the first time...I felt All-One. I lost a lot of tears and faced up to a lot of fears. I was asking for all of it. If I felt a little Light, I asked for more. My faith, patience and ability to trust were tested daily. The Rose of my Soul had survived its darkest night and now, as my Life blossomed, the morning sun kissed back the tears off my radiantly smiling and outstretched petals. My intuition became my best friend and my negative ego finally took the back seat. The 'vehicle' had changed drivers.

"The Rose of my Soul" (above)

I began co-writing my songs and stories with Spirit and am so grateful for my latest 'musical channellings'. When you can hear chords of Divine brilliance whilst watching a sunrise - you know you're BEING Loved. When you can look into a baby's eyes and communicate ageless wisdom without the need for speech - you know you ARE Love. And when you can feel a pair of wings around you as you sit alone in a room - you UNDERSTAND Love.

I know without a doubt because it's proved to me time and time again, that I create my own reality, that I AM the master of my fate and the soul of my captain. More than that, I AM all in my reality. In the serene silence between songs, I have finally found my Self - sitting in yet another chair, THE chair, My chair. This one is made of gold and radiates with Love and Illumination. And on the back, underneath my true, full, YOUniversal name is inscribed ONE word - DIRECTOR.

Cut & Print.

(The above article was later published in 'Elohim Journal' - an Australian quarterly publication. It appeared in the January 2001 issue.)

~~~

Written by Another Point of You : OM...

[Omnitheus Oneironaut]

In honour of all Angels everywhere (around the world)...

Another (winged) Point of You : OM...

[Omnitheus Oneironaut]

'angel' : n.
1. divine messenger
2. guiding spirit
3. person with the qualities of such a spirit, as gentleness, purity etc.

"Your Presence : My Gift"

The universal winds cupped me in her hands
the day you made your presence known to me
The rustic leaves of Autumn took the place of my own footsteps
Physically, you were not behind me
Yet it was enough for me to see

That you were there to hold my hand
That you were there to guide this man
The feather of white which was on my behalf
was placed upon my hazy path

I feel your energy as I write these words
Your wings of love embracing my soul
My room, my world grows clear & bright
Are you here to take me home?

Blessed was I to receive the gift...
of communication with one of you
As fleeting as the meeting was
It left its indelible mark
on my raised & grateful consciousness
a sign to save me from impending hopelessness

You expressed your concern for my physical well-being
Though it took for me to turn away
to know I was believing

If I closed my eyes
and opened my ears
I could hear the screams
of dying cells

Through your few chosen words
you lifted me up
You lit my path before I fell

I acknowledge you
I love you
I have faith that I will grow

Please have trust
Believe in me now
Before you turn away and go...

Written : June 18, 1999
By Another Point of You : OM...

[Omnitheus Oneironaut]

Epilogue:

Tuesday, September 28, 2004:

"Looking Within, Never Away."

Tonight as I waited for the tram home, I met a past self of mine.

It was dark, windy and the atmosphere was ominous and threatening. I had bags of shopping and the only thing I wanted was to get home quickly in order to beat the rain. That is when a man came walking down the street. He was obviously very stoned, or out of his mind due to some other substance.

He was walking, almost crawling, at a snail's pace - thinking he was continually dropping ten dollar notes along the pavement. He would crouch down almost to the ground, searching for those elusive, 'disappearing', illusory, ten dollar notes. Then he would just close his eyes and fall asleep in mid-reach.

I looked away.

I didn't need to see this. He was not my 'responsibility'. His state was his own fault, I thought to myself. But then I looked at him.

And I saw my Self -- A past clubbing self -- a past 'me' that used to get so off his head, that he would take a whole half hour just to find a ten dollar note in his wallet to buy a packet of cigarettes. 'He' would constantly fall into a state of rapturous sleep on whatever club-couch he happened to be sitting on. 'He' was not only my 'sleeping' self - He was my UNCONSCIOUS self.

As I watched this sleeping, falling man several metres from me, all of these realizations came to me in an instant. I was not separated from this man. This man was ME. I AM this man! Any idea that this man and I were not One was merely a very clever and intricate illusion.

Several guys were further up the street - watching, snickering and laughing at this sleeping man. By now, two of his ten dollar notes had indeed fallen onto the ground. I looked up the street and saw my bus approaching.

And then I willed the ferocious wind to stop.

And it did.

I walked over to the man, picked up his money and handed it to him. He awoke with a start. He wanted to shake my hand. And then he thanked me. My only words to him were, "Wake up, and stay Awake...At least until you get Home".

I had missed my bus. But I had caught something else much more profound. I had caught on to 'who' I AM, who 'I' was, and who 'I' will always be - every ONE. And everything I have done, and will ever do for another will invariably come back to me, and vice versa, and versa vice.

That sleeping man met a little Angel tonight. And I know if I had never helped him, then I too, would have never been helped by the many angels who have come into my life over the years. Such is the grand, sacred circle of The One SELF.

The wind mysteriously started up again, but it could not blow away the tears of profound gratitude and grace that streamed down my face after that sublime encounter. Tonight I healed, helped and loved without condition, a once 'fragmented' part of my Self.

Tonight, I brought a lost aspect Home.

You can look for Angels in your life... Or you can BE the Angel.

~~~

Written by Another Point of You : Omnitheus Oneironaut.